30th Birthday

Oh, how I love this picture! Emily was shown such kindness by those who loved her. Surrounding her in this picture are her sister Abbie and the Wyborny girls. Her life was enriched by friends like them. 

Today, Emily would have been 30 years old. We know that she smiles down on her nephews, who just turned one (Augustus) and two years old (Everette) this past week. We often think of how much she would have enjoyed being with them and watching them grow, but we sense that her spirit is with us, celebrating these new lives in our family.

"Are you Emily's dad? The dad of 'Little Miss Sunshine'?"

I haven't posted to Emily's memorial blog for over four years now, but that doesn't mean we've forgotten. Recently, Sonja had a sweet "Emily dream," as we call them, and just last week, I had an experience that was more precious than gold -- a warm-hearted moment that was a gift from God. Here's how it came down: 

As part of my job, I visit schools within an 80-mile radius of Liberty University's campus to meet with interns and their on-site mentors. Last week, I visited a school about an hour from our home. I didn't think I knew anyone there. I hadn't even met the intern yet. So, when I walked into the school office, I was surprised to hear the following: 

"Are you Emily's dad? The dad of 'Little Miss Sunshine'?" 

I was caught off guard. The lady asking the question and I were both wearing masks because of coronavirus restrictions, so I didn't recognize who she was, and I was surprised anyone would know me in this community. Before I responded though, I had to take a breath and relish the sound of the words "EMILY'S DAD." It had been so long since I had been acknowledged with that identity. I had to pause to enjoy it. 

Just when I was getting ready to respond, I stopped again and thought, "Wait! Not many people knew or would remember that Emily had the nickname 'Little Miss Sunshine' at the middle school she attended over 13 years ago. Who was this person?"

"Yes," I answered, "I am." 

"Well, I'm Mrs. Boyd and was one of her teachers at Forest Middle School. Now I'm in the district office and this is one of the schools I  work with." 

Mrs. Boyd! She was the teacher who gave Emily the nickname "Little Miss Sunshine." I remember her telling us how much she enjoyed spending time with Emily after school waiting to load her bus for home. Emily loved school, and the bus, and school lunches, and backpacks, and . . . her teachers! She loved school because of the people there -- those who invested in her and made her feel special. Every. Single. Day. I told Mrs. Boyd how our family still stops by Forest Middle School periodically to check out the tree they planted in her memory with a plaque at the base that reads "Our Little Miss Sunshine: Emily Smith, 1994-2007." The tree stands right outside the large cafeteria windows and has grown now to be about as tall as the building. Its growth reminds us of the time that has passed -- over 13 years since she's been gone. It also reminds us that she is stronger and more alive now than ever. Waiting to rejoin us someday.

I was so touched by seeing Mrs. Boyd that I had to explain to the intern and mentor who stood in the school office watching our exchange. I told them how special she was to our daughter and to our family.

Thank you, Mrs. Boyd, for being a teacher who made a difference in Emily's life and in ours. You didn't just make my day when I saw you last week. You warmed my heart.

Happy 23rd Birthday, Little Miss Sunshine!

To celebrate what would have been Emily's 23rd birthday, we looked at old photo albums. Here are a few pictures I had forgotten about.

"Heaven Is the Face of a Little Girl" - Steven Curtis Chapman

Heaven is the face of a little girl with dark brown eyes that disappear when she smiles.
Heaven is the place where she calls my name.  Says, “Daddy please come play with me for awhile.”

God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more, but God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.  So right now...

Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep, lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing.
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms, being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams,

And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more, But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for.
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.

But in my mind’s eye I can see a place where Your glory fills every empty space.
All the cancer is gone, every mouth is fed, and there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.
Every lonely heart finds their one true love, and there’s no more goodbye,
And no more not enough, and there’s no more enemy (no more).

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss and a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand and leads me to You, and we both run into Your arms.

Oh God, I know, it’s so much more than I can dream. It’s far beyond anything I can conceive.
So God, You know, I’m trusting You until I see Heaven in the face of my little girl,
Heaven in the face of my little girl.

Emily's Birthday Party in India

          Each year, our family has traditions that we do together to celebrate Emily's birthday.  This year, though, I am on the other side of the globe in India to do teacher training at schools here.  So, yesterday, I asked Biswajit, our host, "What do you do to remember family members who've gone on to be with the Lord?"
          He said, "We help the poor and needy.  Would you like to visit a leper colony?"
          With just a day's notice, Bisjwajit arranged for chicken curry, dal, and rice to be prepared for 130 people and delivered to the leper colony in Emily's memory.  Today, when we went to the colony, Biswajit led the children in song.  (I was surprised to see children there, but whole families move there if they have a family member with leprosy.)  He then asked me to share Emily's story.
          I stood before the children sitting on the ground in front of men and women with just stubs for feet and hands. For a moment, I just stood there.  These are the "least of these" that Jesus spoke about. These are the social outcasts, the "untouchables."  I couldn't help but feel Emily smiling.  When she was alive, she taught our family so much, and -- even in this moment -- God was teaching me through her memory.
          As best as I could, I told them of the gift Emily was, despite her disability and health problems.  As Biswajit translated, his voice began to break as he paused for a moment in tears.
          You see, Biswajit and his wife Kuni also have a special gift in a precious little girl named Eva.  Biswajit's brother, Bapi, found Eva when he ran off a pack of dogs that was circling around a moving object on a sand pile.  The object was a baby girl less than a day old.  Bapi carried the baby through the village asking if anyone knew what had happened or if anyone would be willing to take her in. Several families told him, "If the baby were a boy, we would take it, but we can't afford to take care of a girl."
          Bapi then took the baby to his brother Biswajit and sister-in-law Kuni, who had been praying about having a child.  Eva is now 12, has developmental delays, and is not growing as she should, but she has the most beautiful smile and such a heart to help others.
          As Biswajit composed himself, I finished telling how God can use anyone to bless others and that every life, despite difficulties, is valuable to Him.
          We then distributed the "plates," which were large leaves connected together, placing them on the ground in front of each person.  A mound of rice was scooped out onto each plate and covered with gravy-like dal.  I had the honor of placing a bowl of chicken curry in front of each person.
          HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY, EMILY!  Only God could arrange such a party as this one.

Christmas Ornament

This precious Christmas ornament that one of Emily's teachers helped her make hangs from our tree every year.  It's been 8 years ago this month that we said goodbye to our Little Miss Sunshine.

Grandma's Surprise

It had been a decade since the entire family had visited Grandma and Grandpa in Colorado.  So, this spring break we got that opportunity.  Upon our arrival, Grandma had a wonderful surprise for us.  "Here are some old pictures I thought you'd enjoy seeing again," she said, "and we have supplies for you to make scrapbook pages while you're here."  We had such a great time reminiscing!  This picture was one of my favorites. 

YeeeeeHaw!

Sonja recently dug up this picture of Emily riding with her on Grandpa's 4-wheeler in Colorado.  Emily would yell, "YeeeeeHaw" as we'd drive around Grandpa's property.  Sweet memories!

Surprise Visit to Remember 7 Years Ago

Donna and Amber surprised us by driving from Florida to be with us on the 7th anniversary of Emily's passing.  Here's what Donna wrote: "My first visit to the tree planted 7 years ago in memory of Emily Smith at her school in Lynchburg, Virginia, was today. It was also the last day I spent with her December 30, 2007. We all wore matching beads in her honor. Being together today brought me some comfort to that deep ache that is embedded within my heart. So thankful God allowed us that blessing. Especially thankful for the time spent with Zachary. God is so faithful, gracious, and omnipresent."

Of All Things! ~ Chicken Noodle-Loos

Of all things, you wouldn't think a midnight snack would bring on a rush of memories and emotions! Hungry from working on a late-night project, I went to the fridge and saw that Sonja had made one of Emily's favorite meals: "Chicken Noodle-Loos." It didn't hit me until after I took the first bite. I could see her enjoying every spoonful.

Emily was a celebrator. She celebrated little things with hand-clapping, kissing, and shouts of joy. When Sonja would serve her up a bowl of "Chicken Noodle-Loos" (as Emily called it), she would visibly be thrilled and could hardly contain herself.

I often think of lessons Emily taught us -- to celebrate often is one of those lessons: celebrate people, celebrate food, celebrate animals, celebrate music, celebrate birthdays. Oh, she would celebrate birthdays for weeks -- until someone else had a birthday. My birthday is November 2, and she would tell me "Hap-Birday, Dah-ee" every day until December 5, which is Sonja's birthday! Then Sonja would get the daily "Hap-Birday" until the Christmas season gave Emily something else to celebrate.

She taught us to celebrate life, despite its trials, confusion, and pain. The blessings God grants us by far surpass anything that might bring sorrow. So, as I eat another bite, I swallow hard to get it past the lump in my throat. I miss her, and the missing hurts. But I will carry on just as she did every day, with a smile and an eye to look for something to celebrate. Even if it's just another bite of "Chicken Noodle-Loos."