Hearing Her Voice

These two recordings of Emily's voice were recorded on Sonja's cell phone.  Sonja gave the phone to a friend and then -- months after Emily died -- we got an email from the friend with the two recordings attached.  HOW PRECIOUS!  We're so glad we didn't lose them.  They're only a few seconds each.  Click on the links below to hear them:
Emily Singing Jingle Bells
Emily says "I love you, too, Mommy"

A Christmas Memory

This picture was taken at Emily's school in Florida before we moved to Virginia.  She loved Christmas, the story of Jesus, and the traditions of Santa, lights, the tree -- and carols.  She loved to sing Christmas carols.

Our last Christmas with her was in the hospital less than a week before she met face-to-face the One whose birth we celebrated.  The whole family was there, and we decided that it would be as normal a Christmas as possible, so we read the story of Jesus' birth and sang carols, and -- as sick as she was -- she tried her best to sing along, even though she was feeble.  

Today, she's singing His praises out loud.  And on pitch.  (As much as we loved to hear Emily sing, she was usually far off pitch, but it was the most "joyful noise" we had ever heard.)

A Word from Sister Abbie on Emily's 17th Birthday

A WORD FROM SISTER ABBIE: "Today would be Emily's 17th birthday, if she was still alive. When I think of Emily, I think of a gift so precious, so undeserving, that I begin to realize why God would want her in heaven with Him instead of in this dark world. She had such a pure heart and passionate soul. She loved everyone to the fullest extent and clung to the people around her. I miss her each and every day. But somehow it feels like the pain of her not being here starts to come alive again on events like this one. Emily, I will see you again. And when I do, It will be the happiest day of my life. I miss you so much and cherish the time I spent with you. I love you ♥ Happy Birthday."
We planted a snowball bush in her memory today. It's not bloomed yet, so the picture below is of the lilac bush we planted last year for her 16th.

Annual Movie Night in Memory of Emily

Toy Hine, the children's ministry coordinator at our church (Thomas Road Baptist Church) just told us about an annual movie night she does in memory of Emily. It's for kids and adults with intellectual disabilities in the community. Emily loved movies, so this is very fitting! (Toy is her real name. How appropriate for someone who works with children's ministry!)

Death of a Child

I was asked to write an entry entitled "Death of a Child" for the Popular Encyclopedia of Christian Counseling (2011). Just researching and writing the piece was very healing for me. CLICK HERE to read the article.

Three Years Ago Today

Three years ago today, Emily went home to be with Jesus. We woke up today to this painting outside our bedroom door.Ilana Poole (who had just got back from ministering with Megan in Thailand) painted it. The words say . . .

We wait in hope for the Lord.

He is our help and our shield; in Him our hearts rejoice

for we trust in His holy name.

May your unfailing love be with us,

Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:20-22

Message from Mindi Robinson Mulligan

From Mindi: "I just wanted to tell you a quick story. I have been assigned an Exceptional Student Education (ESE) music class this year, which threw me off at first, but now I have come to love it. One of my students reminds me of sweet Emily, and I was reminded so much of her today. We are learning about holidays around the world and their music, and today was Germany. We made Christmas tree ornaments out of beads and the student had such a fascination with the beads that I couldn't help but get a little teary as I thought of the days I used to teach Emily in the upstairs of White Chapel. Thank you for sharing your daughter with me. The lessons that she taught me are carrying on through today!"

Decorating the Christmas Tree

Abbie took these two pictures after we decorated the tree today. Holidays are full of memories, and we can't help but think of others whose hearts are also affected by the holidays. One is the Westerfield family whose dad/husband died December 30, 2009 (two years to the day after Emily). This will be their first holiday season without him. Another is the Dobsons whose daughter and sister with cerebral palsy unexpectedly didn't wake up last Christmas morning. It's only God's grace that will walk the Westerfields and the Dobsons through this season. Please pray for them if you read this. Sometimes it's hard for Thanksgiving to be "Happy" and for Christmas to be "Merry," but it can always be full of God's grace.

Shopping in Emily's Memory

This is a picture of a bank that Ilana, Megan’s best friend, made for us as a keepsake for Emily since we were collecting butterflies. For months now, we’ve been dumping change into it and recently got to where we couldn’t stuff anymore in. We asked for a wish list from Arnold Palmer Hospital’s hematology/oncology play room and went shopping.

Aside from all the painful things that had to be done to Emily while she was at the hospital, she actually enjoyed being there. We were always with her and the child life staff provided all of Emily’s favorite DVDs plus a playroom full of toys. They also had daily activities and games. They were a huge blessing to us so we wanted to bless them back a little.

Emily would like that her memory is blessing other kids to have a little fun at the hospital.

Third Fall

This is our third fall without Emily. Someone told me recently that the feeling of loss never goes away completely but that the grief itself loses its strong grip on you. That's a pretty good way of putting it. A professor I work with who lost a child in an auto accident said, "It screams against the order of the universe to lose a child. You never completely 'get over it,' but you do learn to live differently." She recently spoke of how we so often fear the wrong things. Death has no victory over us; we need not fear it. Like the Apostle Paul said, "To live is Christ, to die is gain." The "gain" will be to live forever in the presence of our Savior and of our loved ones who've gone before us. The living, though, is sweet because we're walking with others and experiencing the journey together -- with both its joys and sorrows.

We continue to learn from people like this professor. There's a special "knowing" -- an awareness, an empathy -- that parents mourning the loss of their children share with one another. We still don't always know what to say to each other. But we know. We just know.

I'm thankful for that.